• “There’s someone out there for everyone. Even you.”
  • “You didn’t do anything for your birthday? That’s so sad.”
  • “Oh you’ll change your mind about wanting kids when you meet Mr. Right.”
  • “If she can meet someone then there’s hope for you too.”
  • “I have this friend – he’s unemployed and lives with his parents – but he’s really nice.”
  • “You just need someone to take care of you.”
  • “Sometimes I wish I could just sit alone on my sofa watching Seinfeld reruns in my sweats – you know, like you do.”
  • “You need to get laid.”
  • “He may be a douche, but at least he’s honest about what he wants.”
  • “It’s Friday, I knew you’d be home so I thought I’d call.”

Thanks…because I had no idea how sad and lonely my life was until you just told me. But I guess that’s probably because I’m a helpless woman who needs a man to take care of me?

Advertisements